Oh lord has it been hot lately!!!  My house is really old…1920’s…and I’m a little upset that the builder didn’t have the foresight to see that nearly 100 years later I’d be living there and would have wanted him to install central air conditioning (with global warming going on no less!).  I mean that’s just common courtesy.  I’m left with ceiling fans to cool the house down and I’m forced to drink beer and eat otter pops to cool myself down.  And because I can’t live (for very long…maybe a couple of days) on beer on otter pops alone, I decided some chilly grub needed to be added to the vegan happy hour menu.

Okay, so making a vegan ceviche was a little tricky because I wanted to find a replacement for the fish that would still be sort of flaky.  Tofu was definitely wrong, so was seitan or mushrooms…just the wrong texture.  So I decided try tempeh because when you fry it for a bit, it does in fact get a little flaky…hmm…and it soaks up flavors really well.  Anyways, I couldn’t have been happier with the results.  Neither could wife unit…nor fetus unit…yep you read that right…

Vegan Ceviche

• 1 package of tempeh
• 3/4 of a red onion sliced thinly and broken up into rings
• 1 clove of garlic – minced
• 1/2-3/4 cup chopped fresh flat leaf parsley (Italian parsley is fine)
• 1/2 cup fresh squeezed lime juice
• 1/2 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
• Large lettuce leaves (I used butter lettuce)
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1 tsp red pepper flakes
• Smoked Paprika
• 2 tbsp vegetable oil

Delicious Sides that you should NOT skip

• 1 sweet potato – peeled and cut into 6 pieces
• 1 ear of corn – shucked and cut into 6 pieces

Put the sweet potato pieces and 2-3 quarts of water in a large pot and bring to a boil.  Once the sweet potatos have been boiling for about 5 minutes add the corn and boil for another 5 minutes or until the sweet potato and corn have softened to your liking.  Put the sweet potatoes and corn in a bowl in the fridge to cool.

Cut the tempeh into half inch squares that are about a quarter inch thick.  Heat the oil in a pan and fry the tempeh until slightly golden browned, seasoning lightly with salt, pepper, and a light dusting of smoked paprika along the way.  Set aside to cool in a large bowl.

Mix in the onion, garlic, parsley, lime juice, lemon juice, salt, pepper, and red peper flakes.  Cover and put into the fridge for at least 30 minutes to an hour to let the deliciousness soak in.

Serve the vegan ceviche by scooping it onto one of the lettuce leaves (the lettuce is sitting on a plate…duh).  Add a piece or two of the corn and sweet potato.  Enjoy with a Dos XXs, Pacifico or Corona…that’s what I would do…

Inspired by a pit-stop on my recent road trip to the Pacific Northwest I bring you Vegan Southern Fried Tofu.  The wife-unit were pretty amazed by the food cart phenomenon going on in Oregon.  And by amazed I mean insanely jealous and confused as to why this hasn’t taken off in Southern California.  WTF?!   Portland of course seemed like the epicenter of Food-cart-opia, but this recipe was inspired by a stop at a food cart in Eugene, OR that was selling vegan soul food.  I was impressed and, ‘lettuce be cereal’ (‘let us be serious’ for the unhip amongst us)….Why not make MORE fried vegan happy hour deliciousness inspired by soul food?!  And so began my foray into Southern Fried Tofu.

I’ve seen plenty of vegan fried “chicken” recipes out there including a lot of takes on that KFC Double-Down miracle so it seems like this vegan recipe topic may have been done to death.  I had to do it though.  If for nothing else to prove that I could.  And do it…I did.  Based off of feedback from wife-unit, two things became immediately clear about this recipe; 1. It is wife-unit’s favorite Vegan Happy Hour recipe to date, and 2. I would be getting lucky for having such success with it.

Vegan Southern Fried Tofu

• 16 oz block of super firm tofu (I used a garden vegetable seasoned block for some extra flavor)
• 3 eggs worth of egg replacer
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 cup of Texas Pete hot sauce (basically an entire small bottle)
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 3 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp pepper
• Extra salt, pepper, and some garlic powder for seasoning
• Vegetable oil for frying

Heat the oil to 350 degrees.

Cut the tofu block into 1/4-1/3 inch wide slices (cut along the long side of the block) and season lightly with the extra salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

Mix the egg replacer, water and Texas Pete into a small/medium sized bowl.

Mix the flour, baking powder, salt and pepper into a shallow baking dish.  Stir these well!

Dip the tofu slices into the liquid mixture then move into the flour mixture and coat well.  Fry the tofu slices after they have been battered for about 5-7 minutes or until they are golden brown and crispy (we all love crispy).

Enjoy by themselves or with baked beans, corn bread, slaw and BBQ sauce.    MMMMMMMmmmmmmm.

I heart buffalo wing sauce!  Of course, when I say that I mean minus the part about the chicken wings.  None the less, you can put this stuff on just about any fried food and the end result will be de-freakin-licious because buffalo sauce is de-freakin-licious.  Buffalo wings are one of the most common happy hour foods that you will find here in the US and so I had to do a vegan take on them.  Instead of going the vegan protein route though, I went with something inspired by a local happy hour spot…I used breaded, fried tomato slices.

My local happy hour spot makes chili-orange glazed fried tomatoes and as I was having these one day, I thought they would be great in buffalo sauce because they would be spicier.  My mouth was watering then and it’s watering now just thinking about buffalo sauce.  What the heck is with this stuff man.  It’s like liquid crack.  It’s so perfect.  When I see it in the store I…

Buffalo Fried Tomatoes

• 2-3 medium sized tomatoes
• 1 cup water
• equivalent of 1 egg worth of egg replacer
• 1 tbsp flour
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp black pepper (fresh ground if possible)
• 1  cup flour (plus some extra on the side just in case you need it)
• oil for frying
• 1/2 cup Frank’s Red Hot sauce
• 1/4 cup Earth Balance – melted
• 1/4 tsp corn starch

Heat the vegetable oil to 350 degrees.

Combine the Frank’s Red Hot, Earth Balance, and corn starch in a small sauce pan and heat on low, stirring occasionally until it has thickened.

In a small dish combine the 1 cup water, 1 tbsp flour, and the egg replacer.  In a separate shallow dish combine the 1 cup of flour, 1 tsp salt, and 1 tsp pepper.

Cut the tomatoes into small spears/slices and dip into the liquid and let the excess run off then dredge in the flour mixture and let dry for about 3 minutes.  Dip the tomatoes again into the liquid and dredge again in the flour and let dry.

Fry the tomatoes in the vegetable oil until golden brown.  Move to a paper towel covered plate and let sit for a minute.  Drizzle the buffalo sauce over the fried tomatoes and then eat them.

If you have visited this blog before you have probably noticed that every once in a while I like to try and make vegan recipes that may seem just a teensie bit over the top.   I make these items when typical happy hour food options just aren’t exactly what my tummy is after, and when I think of something a little bit different and my tummy says  “F yes let’s do this right now,” I listen.  That is where this recipe for tempura tempeh bacon came from.

I listen to my tummy a lot.  In fact I think it has a little bit too much control some days because if it doesn’t get what it wants it can kinda ruin my day for a bit.  For example: Did you ever get a craving for something only to get denied?  Say one day you are having a super craving for the Oklahoma Bacon Burger and sweet potato fries from Native Foods so you drive like 15 minutes to get there and your tummy is getting excited while you make your way there, only when you get to Native Foods it’S CLOSED FOR SOME REASON AT 1 PM ON  THE WEEKEND NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF???!!!

Tempura Tempeh Bacon

• 1 recipe tempeh bacon (click here for the lunchboxbunch recipe that I use)
• 2 eggs equivalent of egg replacer (I used Bob’s Red Mill this go around)
• 1 1/2 cups ice water
• 1 3/4 cups flour
• vegetable oil for frying

Wasabi Mayo Dipping Sauce

• 1/2 cup Vegenaise
• 2 tbsp wasabi (paste)
• 1/2 tsp fresh grated ginger
• 1 tbsp shoyu
• 1/2 tsp sugar
• 1/4 tsp salt

Heat the oil to 350 degrees.

Combine the egg replacer, water and flour in a medium sized bowl and mix shortly.  There should still be small clumps in the batter.  Do not mix this until completely smooth.

Coat the tempeh bacon in the tempura batter and fry until crispy and slightly golden.

For the dipping sauce: combine all of the ingredients and stir well.

Douitashimashite bitches.

Who says Disneyland is just for kids?  Okay so the inspiration for this recipe did NOT come from a happy hour at a bar at all.  It honestly came from one of the restaurants in Disneyland by the Pirate’s of the Caribbean ride.  I of course did not have the monte cristo sandwich because it was not vegan, but my brother sure seemed like he enjoyed it (jerk) and I was admittedly jealous of his fried sandwich…

…so I decided to make my own vegan monte cristo later that week at home.  PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!!  I’ve got to say though, that it is definitely NOT good that I have gone so far as to fry an entire sandwich.  It gave me all sorts of confidence that I can fry just about anything.  My head got pretty big and I half jokingly told wife-unit that I would fry a piece of pizza next.  She laughed and said something that I didn’t really hear because…

Vegan Monte Cristo Sandwiches (makes 2 sammiches)

• 2/3 cup water
• 1 egg replacer equivalent of 1 egg
• 2/3 cup all purpose flour (I used whole wheat)
• 1 3/4 tsps baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 4 slices of soft sandwich bread
• 4 slices of ‘ham’ vegan deli meat
• 4 slices of ‘turkey’ vegan deli meat
• 4 slices mozzarella Daiya (this recipe will be difficult to do with shredded but is def do-able because I’ve done it)
• 1 tbsp organic powdered sugar
• Raspberry/your favorite jam (optional but…YUM)
• vegetable oil for frying
• toothpicks

Heat the vegetable oil in a pan to 350 degrees.

Mix the first five ingredients in a medium/large mixing bowl and set aside.

Put the sandwiches together like so: bread, vegan ham, daiya, vegan turkey, bread.  Cut each sandwich into quarters and put a toothpick through each to hold it together.

Dip each quarter sandwich into the batter and completely coat.  Fry the sandwiches in the oil until lightly browned and then set on a paper towel covered plate to cool.

REMOVE THE TOOTHPICKS!!!!  Because you don’t want to eat those.

Lightly dust the tops of the sandwiches with the powdered sugar.  If you choose to, and I recommend it, top each sandwich with a light layer of jam and then eat while still warm.  SO GOOD!

Whoa…time to catch up on some posts here.  After the family visiting and the mad dash to paint the living room and dining room, I finally had some time to cook this week!  I’ve been busy whipping up some delicious vegan happy hour food that I think is just going to tickle your fancy…or tickle your Elmo…or both, whatever.  This vegan recipe for chipotle seitan & pineapple is a cool fusion of flavors that will tickle your taste buds.

So all the tickle references are just so I could post this…

Oh Jermaine…you so crazy.  Crazy like a fox!  Just as the chipotle seitan & pineapple tacos bring together sweet and spicy in perfect harmony, Jermaine at some point seamlessly brought together a member of the Jackson Five and…DEVO?!

Chipotle Seitan & Pineapple Tacos

• 1 package seitan
• 1 – 14/15 oz can diced pineapple (you’ll need the pineapple juice too)
• 2 cloves of garlic – minced
• 1 – 7 oz can chipotles in adobo sauce
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
• 1 medium onion – sliced thin and then quartered
• 1 cup shredded cabbage
• 1/2 cup chopped cilantro
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 8 of your favorite soft taco tortillas

Chop the seitan into very small pieces and place into a medium sized mixing bowl.  Add the garlic, salt, pepper and onion to the bowl.

Finely chop 2 or 3 (do 3 if you like it hot like I do) of the chipotle peppers and add to the bowl.  Add 2 tbsp of the adobo sauce from the canned chipotles to the bowl.  Add 1/4 cup of the juice from the canned pineapple to the bowl.  Mix until everything is evenly coated and then place in the refrigerator to marinate for 20 minutes.

While the delicious flavors mingle in the fridge, briefly fry the pineapple chunks in a pan over medium heat (no oil required).  Set aside.  This is an optional step but I feel that it makes the pineapple sweeter to balance out the chipotle.

Heat the 2 tbsp of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat and add the contents of the bowl that was marinating in the fridge.  Simmer the taco filling until everything is well heated through and the seitan is slightly browned then turn the heat off.  Add the pineapple chunks and mix everything well.

Scoop some taco filling onto a heated tortilla and top with a pinch of the cilantro and a pinch of the cabbage.  Enjoy!

Close your eyes and imagine being magically whisked away to…..Delaware…..wait no, I mean the Hawaiian Islands.  That’s how you’ll probably feel after having this vegan kalua “pork” sandwich.  And just think, you’re not actually eating a dead pig that was buried and then UNBURIED in order to get this delicious sandwich.  Oh lucky you!  I’ve never actually been to a Hawaiian themed happy hour on the mainland but there HAS to be one somewhere.  When I find one I hope it has the same drink specials that I took advantage of when I was in Kona.  HELLOOOOO $2 MAI-TAIS!!!!

Wife-unit and I had multiple $2 mai-tais before taking a dinner cruise in Kona.  It was one of those boats with a glass bottom so you could see the giant manta rays at night.  There was a different cruise you could take where you could swim with the manta rays but that sounded like the worst idea ever to me.  Call me a chicken, but I don’t want to swim, at night, with animals that are up to 25 feet across during feeding hour.  Plus we were already pretty buzzed off of like $17 worth of mai-tais, which we all know is gangsta!!!

Vegan Kalua Pork Sandwich

• 1 package seitan – sliced into very thin strips (like shredded pork)
• 1 maui onion (small) – sliced thin and quartered
• 1 cup frozen spinach
• 2 tbsp shoyu
• 1 tsp liquid smoke
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• sandwich buns (preferably something soft and sweet)

Combine the first six ingredients into a large mixing bowl and mix well so that everything is covered in deliciousness.  Allow to marinate for at least 20 minutes in the fridge.

In a large pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat.  When the oil is hot add the ingredients that you have combined in the bowl and simmer until everything is well heated.  Add salt/more shoyu and/or more liquid smoke to taste.

Put a light layer of vegan mayonnaise on both sides of the sandwich buns.  Top with the kalua “pork” mixture and enjoy gangstas!

The vegan midnighter sandwich….not just for consumption at midnight!  This sandwich’s roots hail from Cuba and although it is historically more akin the the post binge-drinking burrito (y’all know what I’m talking about) it is equally fantastic when eaten while still knocking a few back.  I would totally add it to my vegan happy hour menu if I owned a vegan adult beverage establishment.

I always think of Ricky Ricardo when I eat this sandwich simply because I know it’s a Cuban sandwich and Ricky Ricardo is the most famous Cuban I know of (no offense Fidel and Elian).  The fact that I think of Mr. Ricardo instead of Mr. Castro probably adds to the fun of eating the sandwich plus its fun to say “YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DO!!!!”

Vegan Midnighter Sandwich

• 1 soft roll – about 7″ long (that’s what she said)
• 1 tbsp Vegenaise
• 1 tbsp dijon mustard
• 3 slices ‘ham’ flavor vegan deli slices – Smart Deli is what I use
• 1 slice mozzarella Daiya (or enough shredded Daiya to get the same coverage)
• 4 slices of tomato – sliced thin
• iceberg lettuce
• 4 slices of pickle – sliced thin (I like dill)
• 1 tbsp olive oil plus a little bit to brush on the bread

Heat the olive oil over medium heat and pan fry the vegan deli slices until slightly browned.

Coat one inside half of the roll with the Vegenaise and the other inside half with the dijon.  Add your pan fried vegan deli slices onto one half of the bread then top with the Daiya.  (as a side note, heating up the Daiya in a small pan prior to putting it on the sandwich makes it super melty deliciousness)

Add your tomato slices, pickle slices, and lettuce then top the sandwich with the other side of the bread.

Lightly brush olive oil on both outside halves of the bread then grill on a sandwich press until the bread is lightly browned.  If you don’t have a sandwich press, heat a pan to medium heat and use another pan to apply pressure on the top, kind of like a squished grilled cheese sandwich.

Enjoy your sammich comrades.

Okay, so honestly I don’t know what “Mexican Cantina Style” is supposed to mean.  I don’t think it’s an actual genre, but I make these vegan nachos using 2 different salsas, guacamole and extra crispy chips and the taste reminds me of the little hole in the wall taco stands/bars that were everywhere when I had visited Mexico City (pre-vegan).

What’s so wonderful about happy hour food is that you can throw it together fairly quickly (for the most part) and its usually pretty cheap.  Nachos are extra fast to make, especially if you have the right chips (extra crispy), because you can pretty much just grill up the toppings and throw them onto the chips and SHAZZAM!…you’re ready to rock ‘n roll all night and party everyday.

Vegan Nachos – Mexican Cantina Style

• 1 package cubed seitan
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 can black beans – drained and rinsed
• 4-6 tbsp salsa ranchera (good smokey flavor)
• 4-6 tbsp salsa verde
• 1 cup guacamole
• 1 bag of tortilla chips (I prefer extra crispy for nachos)
• 3/4 cup shredded mozzarella Daiya cheese

Heat the olive oil over medium/high heat in a frying pan while you chop the seitain cubes into small enough bits that they will fit well onto chips.  I usually go with pieces that are about the size of marbles.  Pan fry the seitan pieces until they are lightly browned.  Turn heat down to medium.

Add your can of rinsed and drained black beans to the pan along with the 4-6 tablespoons of salsa ranchera.  You want enough salsa in there to make sure that everything in the pan is well coated.  Simmer the ingredients until everything is heated through then sprinkle the shredded Daiya on top and continue to cook until the Daiya begins to melt (about 3 minutes).

make a bed of chips on a large plate.  When the plate of chips is ready use a spatula or spoon to scoop the seitan/blackbean/daiya deliciousness onto the chips.

You can add the salsa verde and guacamole on top of the nacho plate now (as I’ve done in the picture) or have them on the side if you like but I find that flavors blend well when they are all lumped together.

Am I the only one who at one point in time never really understood the reason for the existence of calzones?  I’m probably one of the biggest pizza fans you’ll ever meet, but the calzone concept has always failed me because in my mind you basically just fold a pizza in half and then TADAAAA!!!! it’s a calzone…so what?

And then it hit me while I was taking the first bite of the vegan calzones pictured above. I literally have like four to five pieces of vegan pizza in my hand at once. BUT WAIT THERES MORE…because the crust wraps around the toppings it acts as delicious crispy insulation, keeping my food hot until the last bite.

I guess I can compare it to the feeling I got when I realized that when you type 3.14 into a calculator and then hold it up to a mirror, its spells “PI.E”.  I guess you could pretty much say that I got mind freaked by a calzone…it would have made Cris Angel so proud.

Vegan Calzones